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Railroad jokes... everybodies got one. Let's hear yours.

What's the difference between a school teacher and a railroad conductor?
One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station... 357
We drive on parkways.

we park on driveways.

Airplanes take off from "ports" and land on "run"ways, although they either "taxi" or "fly"; they do not run.

Trains follow "tracks" that are called "roads" but drag cars along behind them to carry those people who were driving on the parkways in between flying around.

35
Hmmmm.
If trains follow tracks......does that make them "hunters", or "trackers"???

Trains drag cars along behind them to carry those people who were driving on the parkways in between flying around, and those people who park on driveways, when they get home.

Trains "drag" cars???? a "drag" car can go from 0 to over a hundred MPH in a quarter mile. A train needs two miles!! to go from 60 MPH to 0 Eek

If a "conductor" runs the train, does that make the train "electric"?? Does that mean that a steam train with oil lamps doesn't need a conductor?

A conductor leads an orchestra. Does he first have to work for a railroad to get his "training"??

Is a locomotive a "tracking device"???
Trains are "trackers". We raise dogs called "hunters" and "pointers".

Trains pull cars, often known as rolling stock. "Stock" is a Western term for ranch animals, who move around on four legs; they do not "roll".

"Drag" racing is an oxymoron, since the vehicles don't drag anything; however, coal trains are referred to as "coal drags", and they don't race.

Trains do have "conductors", even when they are not electric, but passenger trains also have "porters" even though the train never puts into a port.

If switches are "turn-outs", are there also "turn-ins"?

How did a "frog" end up in a switch? Is that why some cars are called "hoppers"?

Trains pull "cars" which ride on "trucks", but the driver travels in a "cab".

If you remove the end-of-train device, where does the end go? Does it become a different part?
Passengers ride "on" trains...shouldn't they be "in" them????
Why do steam engines hate hard coal??? Wink


35 35 Because they have a tender behind..... 35 35 35
Quote:If switches are "turn-outs", are there also "turn-ins"?
Passengers who go to the sleeper car at the end of the day, are "turn-ins".

Sleepers, another word for ties, but you cannot comfortably sleep on a "tie car".....but a "tie" car might be a good source for gifts.

Rolling stock, cows that have been "tipped" on a side hill. Or , cows that have been reading this thread and areR OFLMAO

I suppose there are some who believe that the long veil behind a wedding dress, is called a train, because marriage is a "loco motive".
But since the sleepers were built by a company named Pull Man, where do female passengers sleep?

The bridal train is so-called for two reasons:

1. It represents the long consist of useless in-laws and relatives that will shortly attach itself to your life, and

2. A long train of disasters follows in it's wake.

Brides should be followed by a conductor on foot waving a red lantern.
Why is it not safe to doze near trains?
Because they run over sleepers!
Did you hear about the engineer who married a woman because he heard she was a 2-8-2? It didn't mean what he thought it did, because the description didn't include the size of her tender.
[quote="Sumpter250"]Hmmmm.


Trains "drag" cars???? a "drag" car can go from 0 to over a hundred MPH in a quarter mile. A train needs two miles!! to go from 60 MPH to 0 Eek



Wfat do you mean trains don't "DRAG" Take a look at our Racing Teamn Logo !!
My Friend & I have sent many a dude home to find the Shay drags on the Wide World of Sports!! 357




[attachment=262]
Is that anthing like psycho racing? Smile
TrainNut Wrote:Railroad jokes... everybodies got one. Let's hear yours.

I hope you all realize these are nothing like the jokes railroaders tell...
Then tell us`some of those! Smile
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