With everything that has been going on in my 3d life, I nearly sold off all of my RR stuff. I lost a lot of sleep over the idea. I even sold a few items. I was resigned to the idea that whatever visions of a layout I had dancing in my head would never see the light of day.
With everything else that had happened, a friend of my wife and her kids lost their house. We decided that we would help them out. We let them move in with us. They lived here for 10 months. I will not go into great detail, but suffice it to say, it did not end well. No good deed goes unpunished. Never again. EVER. I would give the shirt off my back to help a lot of people, but NEVER will I let people move in to my home.
That aside, something in me snapped. I need my railroad empire. That is one world that I can control. I don't have to worry who thinks what about it, as long as I am getting what I want out of it, so be it. It is my anchor to sanity, and I refuse to let it go. It's bad enough that I had to leave my MRR friends behind for as long as I did.
It is my New Year's Resolution to make something of my empire, and that is one resolution I will not let go of.
Matt
Wow - sorry to hear that bad came to you after trying to do good for someone...
Keep us up to date on your model railroad progress and welcome back to Big Blue
Thanks Mikey. It is very good to be back.
Matt
"I need my railroad empire. That is one world that I can control."
Absolutely true. I think that is why many of us have hobbies such as this. It's part of having a healthy emotional well-being. Glad to see you here again.
Welcome back Matt, sorry to hear what happened.
I don't think I know you but welcome back anyway. I can tell you for sure Model RR has helped me keep my sanity. It has at times tried to make me loose it. My wife even encourages me some now. So jump in with both feet and go to your own world.
Matt
We have many things in our lives that are set backs and are devastating. Everyone handles these situations as best they can and often times we make major mistakes. I too went through a period in the late 80's where things were just not right with the world and I began selling my trains. I came to my senses and worked through my depression and kept the rest of my trains and railroad in tact. It was years before I could get back to it.
I lost my best friend on New Years Day, to some he was only a dog, but to me he was a friend and companion. He had Cancer, and there was no sign until he was beyond all help. My layout is in limbo at the moment because I am trying to cry out my grief. I am leaning on my friends in my yahoo samoyed group to get me through this.
This forum has a thread/section to post anything non railroad related. I'm sure the founders of this list have this set up so members can talk about a lot of things as well as talk out their pain.
The time will come when you will be comfortable again.
and if no one answers your pleas yell louder, It isn't that we are ignoring anyone, it is just that many of us read but don't comment until we realize help is neded.
Charlie
Oh GOD - Charlie!! I know Exactly what youre going through.. "my" cat - my friend for 21 years was fine and eating and running through the house and 3 days later - Cancer of the liver..... gone..... I needed closer so my step-daughter & I took him to the Vet's to have him put down.. That was 4 years ago...
Only took about 3 - 4 weeks for me to get over it..
We bought another cat during that time and that did help... But yeah - only the "pet" and the "owner" really know what it's like.. and there could be lots of humans living in the house, but each animal "chooses" his or her owner.. a great thing to enjoy while they last..
PM me if you need to chat...
Charlie,
I am sorry for your loss. I know the feeling. I had a family member pass in October. Whether person, dog, cat, etc, they are a trusted faithful companion, and the loss is quite hard.
Everyone here is the largest reason why I didn't walk away entirely. When I had the rare chance, I would visit here (mostly on other people's computers as I was without one for a while). Everyone has something in the 3d world that weighs on them. The folks here (which some of you are like family to me now {they know who they are}) kept me from going completely nuts. Aside from the people who were staying with us, my Dad had a major heart attack and 3 major surgeries later, he is still kicking. I had a family member who could no longer cope and took their own life. It is sad, it hurts, but in the end it was their choice. Instead of reaching out for help, they took the cowards way out. I feel for them, I really do, but I was a cop for a LONG time and that has somewhat hardened me, jaded me.
I thank each and every one of you for creating this place. I know we all didn't build this site, but we all contribute to the family feel. It is comforting, as it is a constant. I know there is always someone ready to lend advice, even about issues not involving trains.
I know that this post is rambling and without a clear direction, but I am confident that anyone who reads it will know what I am driving at.
Thank you to everyone again,
Matt
ngauger Wrote:Oh GOD - Charlie!! I know Exactly what youre going through.. "my" cat - my friend for 21 years was fine and eating and running through the house and 3 days later - Cancer of the liver..... gone..... I needed closer so my step-daughter & I took him to the Vet's to have hom put down.. Tht was 4 years ago...
Only took about 3 - 4 weeks for me to get over it.. We bought another cat during that time and that did help... But yeah - only the "pet" and the "owner" really know what it's like.. and there could be lots of humans living in the house, but each animal "chooses" his or her owner.. a great thing to enjoy while they last..
PM me if you need to chat...
Mickey,
Thanks for the reply. My friend has a web site. <!-- w --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.taffylaffy.com">www.taffylaffy.com</a><!-- w --> If you want to know why it is such a loss take a few minutes to aquaint yourself with him.
He was a true railroad dog, and my connection to the railroad too. He was a real charactor and taught me how to love.
Wayne and Nutbar both had the honor of meeting him and members Todd, (csiguy) and railcop both knew him well
He will always be in my heart.
Matt, maybe you don't realise it but by rambling you are helping yourself to heal
Many folks pay top dollar to lay on a couch and ramble, we can do it here for free, and other than taking the chance of miss Spelling our rambles it helps to work things out.
Please understand that some time folks are hurting so bad they are unable to work their way out of things, and don't know where to go for help.
Just remember there are folks that are here for you, and computers to use at the library.
Have a great year, We will all make it through.
Charlie
You never loose a good friend,their spirit lives on forever
My wife would call this karma - you paid your dues for ten months to get back to your hobby.
Matt, sorry to hear about the trouble with the friends you were trying to help. Sometimes when the boundaries change things get weird. I'm glad you're resolved to enjoy the hobby. Sounds like you deserve some fun and relaxation!
Charlie, I'm very sorry to hear about the passing of your beloved pet Taffy. I know you were expecting this would happen soon but its never easy to say goodbye. We let our pets deep into our hearts. It sure looks like he was a well loved puppy and enjoyed the best life with you. My sympathies.
Ralph