Full Version: The hardest thing I've ever had to do.... ever
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(09-25-2020, 08:54 AM)ezdays Wrote: [ -> ]Just a bit of an update. I get to see my wife via Skype about once a week and get weekly updates from the Hospice nurse. She seems to be adapting better to where she is, and the Skype visits are getting better. She looks at me now rather than being distracted and tries to talk. After yesterday's visit, she said, "bye". She has aphasia, so that's quite an accomplishment for her.... When she was home, the lowest level that I could think of to keep her occupied was coloring books and crayons, but she was afraid to start. They tell me that she has taken well to working with colored blocks, something that I'd never think to do so they know what they're doing there. They also announced that they are 100% Covid19 free, but I expect that a visit without PPE gear will not happen for a while yet.

As for me, I'm managing without her, but I wish I didn't have to. I just keep hoping that she'll get better, but I know that's out of the question. I thank you all again for your prayers and concerns, I did what was best for the both of us, I don't have to like it, but I'm OK with doing it.

Don, there is nothing for me to say except I am here and I am listening. 
Charlie
Don

I am glad to hear she is improving and is adapting well to the situation. I know this gives you the comfort of knowing you made the right decision. I will keep her and you in our prayers. Take care of yourself. I remember when I became my father-in-law's primary care person (not my decision. He decided to trust me the most for some reason.) my doctor kept reminding me to take of me. He was angry at me when I missed an appointment or didn't follow orders. He was also my father-in-law's doctor. He would tell me since I was the person my FIL trusted it was important for me to be healthy and there for him even after he went into assisted living.
Don it's good to hear she is adapting well. Like Tom said remember to take care of yourself.
Thanks guys, there's no doubt that my time as a caregiver reached its limit, I could not continue the way I was going and still make it through to the end of the year. My son thought that I would be in the hospital by now with exhaustion or a breakdown from the stress. Fortunately, the state's Medicaid program kicked in before that happened, so it had a good ending. Taking care of the caregivers is important, a lot of you know from personal experience about being one, you've been there and needed the support to keep going. Right now, all I need is some recovery time.

Talking helps sometimes, other times it dredges up thoughts of, "what if" and "why", so thanks again for being there and listening and most of all, thank you for caring about the both of us.
Really sorry to have to report the end of this chapter. About a week ago, my wife stopped eating, drinking or taking meds. By Saturday, she was non-responsive. The finally allowed me to see her as much and at any time that I wanted to, but she gave no indication that we were there. They kept her comfortable, but that's all they could do. i got a call a bit after 1:00 this morning telling me that she had passed. I am prepared, the family is prepared, we just know that her struggles are over and that she's had the best care possible these past few months.

Thank you all for your support and prayers, it's going to be a busy week ahead for us all here.
Don,

that is very sad to hear.
My condolence and my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

kind regards
Lutz
Don---I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved wife---may God provide peace and comfort to you and your family.
So sorry Don.
Don - so very sorry for your loss. You did a wonderful job taking care of her for as long as you did. The healing for you and your family will take time but you have friends here to help and support you through this.

Tom
Don - I am deeply sorry to her of her passing. You have our deepest sympathies and prayers.
I'm saddened to hear this news, Don, but you can take some comfort in knowing that you did your utmost to ensure her care through that difficult period.  It's my belief that she has found peace and is now in an even better place.

Wayne
Thank you all for your concern and support, mostly though for your friendship. It means a lot in times like this.

I'm tired, been up way too long, been a busy and hectic few days. Going over to Pat's for dinner, then home and sleep.
Don, Our deepest sympathy and condolences to you and the family.
Yes, it's always good to "talk" about these things and good friends to talk to.
A few of you had asked for the link to my wife's obit, it's here. You can leave a message there if you wish. Her services will be this Thursday in the church we got to in Sun City.  Social distancing, 1/2 hour Mass, no music or singing.
Oh my goodness Don, I just seen this, I am so sorry to hear this news, my deepest condolences go out to you Don, my prayers too. 
Sincerely, -Deano
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