The hardest thing I've ever had to do.... ever

[ezdays]

I've made a special effort to not talk about a few things in my personal life here thinking that this forum is about our love for our hobby and I didn't want to mess things up. Then again, it's also about friendships and sometimes helping our friends through rough times. So I guess it's time for me to open up a bit.
 
Back in 2014, my wife Peggy was diagnosed with dementia, she was hospitalized a year later and they wanted me to put her into a memory care home, but I just couldn't do that then. I took care of her as she got worse; it's a progressive disease with no cure. Medication helped keep her calm, but she could no longer do routine things, plus she was unsteady, falling and hurting herself a lot. A while back, I got help through a local program that put her in adult day care for a few hours each week, but it stopped when Covid19 hit. We were able to apply for long-term care last year, knowing that it would be a long process. Meanwhile, earlier this year, she qualified for hospice home care and that helped big time. Even then, I was still her main caretaker, 24/7. A few weeks ago, her approval for long-term care came through, and so we all watched as the transport vehicle took my wife of 60 years away. Everyone says this is best for both of us, and they are right. I did what I could, but being untrained, it was not enough and it showed on her care and my health.
 
I no longer need to be aware of her moving around or needing help. She's in a highly recommended facility that specializes in memory care and just about five minutes away. She is in the hands of professionals, which puts me at ease, but still knowing that it was the hardest decision I ever had to make.
 
Thanks for listening, I'm not looking for sympathy; although I could use some R&R, I just think that friends want to know when other friends are dealing with major changes or issues in their life, and talking about them with others can help, that's one reason we started Big Blue, some other forums wouldn't allow personal discussions. Some of you have had to deal with worse situations than this, and my heart goes out knowing what you went though. Peggy should be comfortable where she is, they'll keep her occupied, but more importantly, she will be safe. I'll be able to visit once this virus thing goes away. For now, I can have video and "window" visits anytime. Getting the help through these programs wasn't easy. I'm not sure where we'd be if I hadn't found the ones that I did.