Forest ground cover

[Saltwater Cowboy]

Here's how I got caught... I was working on the layout all day while I was off. I ran out of dirt around 2:00pm. (my wife gets home around 5:00pm). So I decided to speed up the process and cranked the oven up to 500 degrees and after it preheated I put in the cookie trays full of dirt. In about 1/2 hour the dirt was dry and ready to be sifted, but during the baking process I must have spilled a little bit on to the stove elements and an awful foul smelling smoke was pouring out of the vents. I was in the basement doing something else and when I came up the steps I could immediately smell that something was wrong. The entire house REEKED!!! Well, I opened doors and windows, lit candles in every room and emptied 2 cans of air freshener. It did not help one bit. Wife came home and the first words out of her mouth were "Hi! How was your.....What the #@$&^% is that AWFUL STENCH!!!!!!" Well, I had to confess as to what I had been up to and boy was she ticked....for a week. Of course she had to tell her parents, my parents, her co-workers, her sister and probably reported me to the State Department as well. Now everyone I know thinks I am a complete loon....Oh well....
The other day I needed some cheap unscented hairspray to affix ground foam to trees and since my wife was on her way to the grocery store I asked her to pick me up a bottle. Well, she took her sister with her. In the hair care aisle, my wife picked out a generic bottle of spray and put it in her cart. Her sister asked "why are buying that junk?!?" My wife replied "It's for Matt..." (I am almost bald FYI). Her sister's comment was " After the baked dirt story I am not EVEN going to ask what for....Nor do I even WANT to know!"

Matt