Searching my way back to normality...
#1
Hi Folks,

it is a long time since I have been active at this forum. Now this is a try to get back into my good old model RR forums again. I have been off line almost all of the year 2009 - and what a lousy year this has been for me - apart from one single positive happening!

First of all let me say a cordial "thank you" to all of my friends who thought of me and sent me PMs or congratulations to my birthday. And at the same time I apologize that I haven't even been able to send them an answer. I just couldn't get enough energy together to thank you all!

Let me explain.

Until 2007 I loved to do long hiking tours in the Swiss Alps, but then my right hip started to hurt more and more. In the Spring 2008 it became so painful that through this year I couldn't do one single hike. I tried some physical therapy, but it didn't help at all. So I had to face surgery to replace my hip joint. This was planned for early 2009. So far, so good. (At that time I still was quite active here...)

In mid-January there happened the only really good thing in this year 2009 - we got our first granddaughter. Now this was really great, and the little girl was a sunshine from the start - and she still is! But our daughter had massive problems after birth - so my wife and I were quite busy with traveling back and forth (some 150 miles distance), helping in their household...

And as it turned out, this stress was a bit too much for me. In Spring I was next having problems, suffering a heavy heart attack, necessitating some heart surgery, followed by a three month rehabilitation program. Because I now have to swallow blood-thinning meds, the hip operation had to be cancelled. Walking became more and more painful, so I even had to leave out a part of my rehabilitation program, which didn't help either. Live quality decreased and decreased for me. And being a bit the type of the Lone Wolf, I retreated into my snail shell, cut my contacts to my surroundings.

To top it off, in July my heart acted up again - another heart artery suddenly was closed for 97%! A balloon dilatation did the trick (for how long???), but now the hip operation is postponed again, at least until next Autumn. No wonder I started getting depressions. These negative feelings were even strengthened, when a very close friend, same age like me (66), died unexpectedly - he simply didn't wake up in the morning! I sat around, brooding, having no wish or courage to do something at all. From time to time I visited 'my' forums in the internet, but I never found the energy to join a discussion, let alone doing something on my railroad and showing it off to the others.

Then I had the luck to meet one of my former students who is a psychiatrist now. We started a conversation, and for him it was quite obvious that I had serious problems. To make the story short: He managed to show me new perspectives, and he succeeded to pull me out of my depressions. I'm still not really happy with the situation, but at least I found new courage to analyze my problems and to make the best out of them. Now I try to find my way back to the 'normal' life I used to lived before 2009.

But back to model railroads: I simply have to redo my layout, because I can't work under the benchwork or up near the ceiling any longer. I'll have to do construction work without physical stress (i.e. simply standing, without much stooping or climbing...) Even better will be sitting work at the table - build structures, cars etc. So I started planning a new, much simpler layout with everything in easy reaching distance. And finally I found again the intention and the courage to 'join the crowd', to learn from you and perhaps even to report a trick or two to you guys and gals.

So I sincerely hope that once more I'll be able to throw in my 2 cents worth to different threads in this forum.

Ron

( PS: I posted the same letter in several forums. So if you see this for the second time, please excuse me for not composing several different texts saying basically the same. )
Boss of the Trim Creek & Western RR (H0 & H0n3)
Running through the hard-shell mountains, not around them!
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