A Big Blue Story

[ngauger]

New York!!... But of course, in his adrenalin enhanced state, he jumped on a train to Newark.
Of course, 20 minutes into the train trip, when the Conductor came for his ticket, he had to explain why he was on the wrong train....

"Uh - Well see sir....

[ezdays]

...I have a hearing problem, and when you called out, "Newark" it sounded like you were saying, "New York". "Well, if you don't mind, I'll stay on this train since I have relatives in Ohio anyway" he told the conductor.

"Ohio, Smahio, who cares, I'm talking about Newark, California, and you owe us an additional $9.27 in fare or I'm going to have to push you out the door when we slow down for that tunnel coming up" replied the conductor.

"Whoa, how am I going to get that? I spent my last dime for this ticket as it is" he thought... He could see the train approaching the tunnel when a lightbulb appeared above his head, "I know, I'll just.....

[jugbutt]

Stop off in Hillsboro , Ohio where that ole boy Johnny Paycheck killed that man At Christophers bar and have a beer and wait for my long lost cusin..............

[ezdays]

...but then again, this train is heading west to Newark, California and I've got just a few seconds before I have to do something. "Well, I still have that hat from my defunct magic act, why not pass it around?", he thought. Well, he did just that while he hummed, "I'll be working on the railroad", and managed to come up with $12.92, and just in the nick of time, with seconds to spare, he went to find the conductor when all of a sudden....

[ezdays]

...he blacked out. Yup, we've got a four-month gap in this story, so we need to catch you up on what happened. Yes, our hero flat just passed the hat, then proceeded to pass out. Someone dragged him to Miss Kitty's place and she had a few extra beds, so for four months he just laid there not moving a muscle. Well, the 5:15 from Toronto was just coming into town, also four months behind schedule, and as the engineer blew his whistle, that was just what it took to wake our hero up....

His first words were, "Did I miss my train?", and his second words were, "Holy fizzolly, how'd I get this four-foot beard and long scraggly hair?" Everyone just stood there dumbfounded, so then he asked, "anybody got a donut?" Not to worry he thought, as he headed to the barber shop right next to the saloon where he was lead astray in the first place. As he stumbled out Miss Kitty's door grasping the last donut in town.....

[Tyson Rayles]

Miss Kitty grabbed him by the arm and said "Where do you think you are going? You owe me for four months room and board! "

[e-paw]

So he kissed her on the lips, smacked her on the *** & walked away. Down the street he went when.....

[ezdays]

...Little Miss Kitty tackled him and said, "you ain't gettin' away that easy, fair is fair, but I'm not settling for just a kiss instead of cash".

"But, but, Miss Kitty, I only have enough money to get a haircut and shave and to pay for my train ticket", says he. "Tell you what, we will become partners in that gold mine I discovered in some undisclosed place, we'll split the profits if you'll just let me get on that train".

Well, Miss Kitty already had a heart of gold, and I'm not sure she needed any more, but relenting to his proposal, she agreed with the condition that...

[ngauger]

.... he return 2 years and 9 months later and show her where the mine was, errrr is!!!

As the train pulled in the station with the whistle blowing loud, Miss Kitty was awaiting for our hero nice and proud.
He got off the train and Miss Kitty was surprised to see.......