A Big Blue Story

[Steamtrains]

...lets out a booming "Ho, Ho, Hooo...", letting everyone around know ....

[Running Bear]

Kris Kringle is in da house! Better be minding your P's and Q's. He's checking that list!

[Sumpter250]

....and sees that our "hero" is on that list and only wants to get out of that package so he can get to Starbucks, so Santa grants the wish, and our hero is heading for that "triple-dipple, mocha espresso, frappiccino latte with just a hint of whipped cream on top, and one of those, Blueberry Streusel Muffins that he so dearly missed", when.....

[ngauger]

He spies a wallet laying in the gutter.. He heads toward it, picks it up and opens it to see who owns it... It's none other than...

[ezdays]

...Arron Swartzneggle, our hero's hero. He remembers Arron even back when he was a kid, Arron the weight lifter, Arron, the famous actor and even Arron, the Govenator of our most famous state, the State of Confusion. "Wow, if only I knew where he lived, I'd have a chance to meet him", he says to himself. Not realizing that if he looked further, he'd find Arron's drivers license with his address on it. Not to be deterred, our hero heads over to Starbucks with the wallet in hand when out of the blue....

[Tyson Rayles]

Arron sees him with his wallet and thinking he was a pickpocket beats him half to death and takes his wallet back . Being our hero is basically a homeless person with no medical insurance a kind bystander drags his almost lifeless body to the closest free clinic leaving him lying in a pool of blood ( you would think he would have already bled out by now ) on the waiting room floor with the usual assortment of hippies, drug addicts and

[Sumpter250]

....various down-and-outter's. After a number of IV tubes, wires, etc. and all the bandages, our hero looks a bit like a "spiders meal", or perhaps a "mummy marionette". He realizes that there is one benefit, no one can see exactly who he is, so he can relax until the bandages come off. Then, he will have to.........

[ezdays]

Sneak out of the hospital since he doesn't have a dime to pay the bill. Then he had a idea, it's so close to Halloween that no one would notice if he slipped out dressed as a mummy. After all, he was sure everyone saw "The Mummy" movie and would think he was still in costume. He saw his chance, no one was looking his way as he made a dash towards the door. Out he goes, down the street and heading back to Starbucks when...

[rtraincollector]

Two real big guys put him in this new fangled white jacket as they think he escaped from the Psyche ward upstairs of the free clinic.

[ngauger]

They tossed him in the back of the van and started driving off... But when they arrived at the hospital, They opened the doors to find....

The Straight Jacket laying on the floor. hock: They didn't know that our hero is also an escape artist....

As he walked through the Starbucks entrance.....

[ezdays]

... he noticed that everyone had their hands in the air. Well, that is, except for the two guys holding guns. "what to do?", he thought, "if I don't get that triple-dipple, mocha espresso, frappiccino latte with just a hint of whipped cream on top, and one of those, Blueberry Streusel Muffins that I so dearly miss, I'm going to explode". And explode he did, going back to his days as a karate instructor with a black belt, he immediately swung into action, chop, chop, cut, slice, wham, bang, pow!!!!!!! As the dust settled, the crowd broke into applause, all but that mysterious figure hiding behind that pole. As he made it out of the shadow, our hero could see...

[yellowlynn]

.................it was a pole cat. Now there are 2 kinds; a downright low-lifer horn swogglin' do nothin' type polecat, and a black and white kitty-cat. Without his glasses he.................

Lynn

[ezdays]

...couldn't tell which kind it was, but he knew that neither type were to be trifled with, and regardless, it was the only thing standing between him and his, triple-dipple, mocha espresso, frappiccino latte with just a hint of whipped cream on top, and one of those, Blueberry Streusel Muffins that he so dearly missed. He knew what he must do so he struck a classic karate pose and...

[Sumpter250]

......he was about eight miles ( down wind ) out of town, before the townsfolk couldn't smell him any longer. Fortunately, the bandages has kept most of the "spray" off of his skin, so, with a quick jump in the lake and a new set of clothes, conveniently hanging on someones line and just dry, he continued on down the road until..........


( It would be several years before our hero would sit down and write his autobiography. It was titled "The Perils of Paul", and became the source for the scripts of "The Perils of Pauline"....and if you're old enough to remember that ? ----- )

[ezdays]

... he spotted a train station. "Could this be my chance to finally get to where I feel safe?" he thought. But he was broke, his loot was still back in "Ammerilly", and he didn't have enough for Starbucks, never mind the fare to get out of town. Then he got an idea, suppose he called his sister, Pauline, she could always wire him the money he needed. He got her on the phone and she insisted that he sign over the rights to any future auto-biography that he may write. Reluctantly, he agreed, knowing that once he got back to his hidden stash, he wouldn't need the money from the book in the first place. While he waited for the money to be wired, he looked around for another Starbucks. Every town he's ever been in has no fewer than 72 of them, there must be one here in this one-horse town. "Ah ha!!!", he yelled, "what's that down the street, it looks like..."