03-04-2010, 10:32 AM
I recently received this press release from the offices of GERN CEO Charles "Cookie" Gibson:
Hello Flux Fans and Greetings From GERN
For Immediate Release:
GERN Corporation is pleased to announce a new addition to the GERN family of fine
products: New FluxKote Rail Dressing, now available in Roll-on. Goes on Smooth and
Hangs on Tight!
In completely independent and unbiased, arms-length testing, GERN Scientists found
FluxKote to be 3% less bubbly than other brands. And, rolling stock rolled .72% more
smoothly! That means less bruising when shipping soft metals, cheese and delicate
undergarments.
Discerning railway magnates agree... It just has to be FluxKote Rail Dressing!
Yours etc.
Cookie Gibson
Shortly thereafter, I received this correction:
A GERN Press Release was inadvertently sent out in which the posterior idler arm on
the roller lift cage mechanism was shown if the gone or missing condition. FluxKote
roller spindles cannot be operated with the arm in the gone position. For safe
operation in either the apply or lift mode please ensure that the idler arm is in the
not gone position and securely fastened with the appropriate Dressler Nut (#12), an
inside banjo bolt, or a ukelele pin (flux dipped finish).
We regret any inconvenience or injuries to live stock which may have resulted.
Cookie Gibson
...followed by this:
We regret the spellling errors in are prevous correction. It hsould have read:
Correction
A GERN Press Release was inadvertently sent out in which the posterior idler arm on the roller lift cage mechanism was shown in the gone or missing condition. FluxKote roller spindles cannot be operated with the arm in the gone position. For safe operation in either the apply or lift mode please ensure that the idler arm is in the not gone position and is securely fastened with the appropriate Dressler Nut (#12), an inside banjo bolt, or a ukelele pin (flux dipped finish).
We regret any inconvenience or injuries to live stock which may have resulted.
Cookie Gibson
Regardless, here's the accompanying advertisement:
Copies of this ad have been forwarded to all Divisions, world-wide, of GERN.
Wayne
Hello Flux Fans and Greetings From GERN
For Immediate Release:
GERN Corporation is pleased to announce a new addition to the GERN family of fine
products: New FluxKote Rail Dressing, now available in Roll-on. Goes on Smooth and
Hangs on Tight!
In completely independent and unbiased, arms-length testing, GERN Scientists found
FluxKote to be 3% less bubbly than other brands. And, rolling stock rolled .72% more
smoothly! That means less bruising when shipping soft metals, cheese and delicate
undergarments.
Discerning railway magnates agree... It just has to be FluxKote Rail Dressing!
Yours etc.
Cookie Gibson
Shortly thereafter, I received this correction:
A GERN Press Release was inadvertently sent out in which the posterior idler arm on
the roller lift cage mechanism was shown if the gone or missing condition. FluxKote
roller spindles cannot be operated with the arm in the gone position. For safe
operation in either the apply or lift mode please ensure that the idler arm is in the
not gone position and securely fastened with the appropriate Dressler Nut (#12), an
inside banjo bolt, or a ukelele pin (flux dipped finish).
We regret any inconvenience or injuries to live stock which may have resulted.
Cookie Gibson
...followed by this:
We regret the spellling errors in are prevous correction. It hsould have read:
Correction
A GERN Press Release was inadvertently sent out in which the posterior idler arm on the roller lift cage mechanism was shown in the gone or missing condition. FluxKote roller spindles cannot be operated with the arm in the gone position. For safe operation in either the apply or lift mode please ensure that the idler arm is in the not gone position and is securely fastened with the appropriate Dressler Nut (#12), an inside banjo bolt, or a ukelele pin (flux dipped finish).
We regret any inconvenience or injuries to live stock which may have resulted.
Cookie Gibson
Regardless, here's the accompanying advertisement:
Copies of this ad have been forwarded to all Divisions, world-wide, of GERN.
Wayne