01-09-2009, 12:44 PM
Hi Matt,
While I don’t know you, & while I’m sure that your situation & circumstances are different than mine, your post struck a very familiar chord with me…
I am struggling with a physical disability that has caused me to have to retire from my career of 26 years, I had to give up driving a car 4 years ago, & it has become very difficult for me to continue with model railroading…in fact, I haven’t done any modeling for the past year or so…
In addition to this, my wife has been involved in a legal battle with her employer, & so I know the strains of having to deal with doctors, lawyers, insurance companies, Social Security, blah, blah, blah, blah….
I know what it feels like to be angry, depressed, to beat yourself up, kick your self-esteem around & stomp on it every now & then, to become obsessed with small things in order to escape from feelings of impending disaster…to lash out at friends, family, & regrettably, people on internet forums, whether they deserve it or not…
I guess I’m lucky though that I was raised by a big strong Kentucky farm family…The troubles I’ve had to endure pale in comparison to things people like my grandparents went through…
Though my grandmother passed away many years ago, I still have this little voice in my head that says to me occasionally, “Quit your cryin’. Just bow your neck & keep goin’!”
But I think the greatest gift that she & others in my family gave me was a good healthy self-deprecating sense of humor…I’ve learned to laugh at myrself, & I’ve learned to laugh at the world around me…This isn’t just some “Dr. Phil BS” either…Love & laughter has pulled me out of some of the darkest lowest times in my life…
So hang in there Matt…
These things like all things will pass, & something new will take their place…
Try & get some good sleep if possible, some good food, & try & get out & take some air as much as possible…sometimes just moving yourself around physically can improve your spirits…
Learn to see the light among the shadows
Take care, & feel free to vent when you need to…
While I don’t know you, & while I’m sure that your situation & circumstances are different than mine, your post struck a very familiar chord with me…
I am struggling with a physical disability that has caused me to have to retire from my career of 26 years, I had to give up driving a car 4 years ago, & it has become very difficult for me to continue with model railroading…in fact, I haven’t done any modeling for the past year or so…
In addition to this, my wife has been involved in a legal battle with her employer, & so I know the strains of having to deal with doctors, lawyers, insurance companies, Social Security, blah, blah, blah, blah….
I know what it feels like to be angry, depressed, to beat yourself up, kick your self-esteem around & stomp on it every now & then, to become obsessed with small things in order to escape from feelings of impending disaster…to lash out at friends, family, & regrettably, people on internet forums, whether they deserve it or not…
I guess I’m lucky though that I was raised by a big strong Kentucky farm family…The troubles I’ve had to endure pale in comparison to things people like my grandparents went through…
Though my grandmother passed away many years ago, I still have this little voice in my head that says to me occasionally, “Quit your cryin’. Just bow your neck & keep goin’!”
But I think the greatest gift that she & others in my family gave me was a good healthy self-deprecating sense of humor…I’ve learned to laugh at myrself, & I’ve learned to laugh at the world around me…This isn’t just some “Dr. Phil BS” either…Love & laughter has pulled me out of some of the darkest lowest times in my life…
So hang in there Matt…
These things like all things will pass, & something new will take their place…
Try & get some good sleep if possible, some good food, & try & get out & take some air as much as possible…sometimes just moving yourself around physically can improve your spirits…
Learn to see the light among the shadows
Take care, & feel free to vent when you need to…
-Drew-
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."