01-09-2009, 02:32 AM
I don't mean to whine on the collective shoulders of the general membership, but I have nobody else I can communicate this with.
Since being injured (October 2007), I feel as though I have lost part of my purpose. I frequently find myself pushing through pain to interact with my kids. However, as the damage progresses, the pain has become more intense. My interaction with my children has fallen off. I have began obsiessing over my model railroad as a means of escape.
I feel as though I have become another voice, among millions of others, crying out in an un-heard mass. Lost, and without direction is the best way to put it.
I have a doctgor who is very good at what he does, but does not like to tell me what he is doing. I am not opposed to getting in his face to get answers though. The insurance company is playing games, which is why I sought out a lawyer. Having been a cop, I have an instinctive disdain for lawyers, and this one is no exception. He is supposed to be on my side, but he does not return calls. It seems as though my case means nothing to him.
With my particular set of problems (physical) I am in a bit of a catch 22. If I do not go ahead with the corrective surgery I face the eventual loss of use of my hands. If I go ahead with the surgery I face the loss of use of my hands. In the best case scenario I face a partial loss of use as it stands. I am tired of doctors, lawyers, insurance nurses, and physical therapy. It has affected my sleep. I sleep about 2 hours a day now.
I have tried to stay strong, but my strength is waining. However, before folks read too much into this, I am a fighter. I always have been, and I always will be. I will fight until there is no longer air in my lungs. I will get through this.
I didn't want to trash the mood here, but I needed to vent. My family means alot to me, and even though I have not met any of you, to me you are all family.
Thank you for providing a safe haven to share this information. Thank you for always having a response. I know I am not the easiest person to put up with. I have been informed that I am a bit too intense and abrasive. I personally think I am a softy, with a sweet disposition
Anyhow, thank you for letting me vent.
Matt
Since being injured (October 2007), I feel as though I have lost part of my purpose. I frequently find myself pushing through pain to interact with my kids. However, as the damage progresses, the pain has become more intense. My interaction with my children has fallen off. I have began obsiessing over my model railroad as a means of escape.
I feel as though I have become another voice, among millions of others, crying out in an un-heard mass. Lost, and without direction is the best way to put it.
I have a doctgor who is very good at what he does, but does not like to tell me what he is doing. I am not opposed to getting in his face to get answers though. The insurance company is playing games, which is why I sought out a lawyer. Having been a cop, I have an instinctive disdain for lawyers, and this one is no exception. He is supposed to be on my side, but he does not return calls. It seems as though my case means nothing to him.
With my particular set of problems (physical) I am in a bit of a catch 22. If I do not go ahead with the corrective surgery I face the eventual loss of use of my hands. If I go ahead with the surgery I face the loss of use of my hands. In the best case scenario I face a partial loss of use as it stands. I am tired of doctors, lawyers, insurance nurses, and physical therapy. It has affected my sleep. I sleep about 2 hours a day now.
I have tried to stay strong, but my strength is waining. However, before folks read too much into this, I am a fighter. I always have been, and I always will be. I will fight until there is no longer air in my lungs. I will get through this.
I didn't want to trash the mood here, but I needed to vent. My family means alot to me, and even though I have not met any of you, to me you are all family.
Thank you for providing a safe haven to share this information. Thank you for always having a response. I know I am not the easiest person to put up with. I have been informed that I am a bit too intense and abrasive. I personally think I am a softy, with a sweet disposition
Anyhow, thank you for letting me vent.
Matt
Don't follow me, I'm lost too.