Depression
#18
An update.

Last night I managed to get 3 hours of sleep, which has not happened in months. I almost feel human.
I want to thank you all for your well wishes, advice, and for lighting a fire in me. I won't say that I feel much better, but I would be a liar if I said I didn't feel any better.
I have an appointment with my ortho coming, and I am NOT leaving his office without answers. I set the ball in motion to replace my attorney. In IL, under the workers comp laws I have to petition the work comp commision for change of representation (much like in a criminal proceeding), and while the commision only meets on a monthly basis, my motion has been added to the next sessions call. The reason for this load of crap is because work comp lawyers are only paid on contingency in IL. They take 20% of whatever settlement their might be, so I have to prove that my current attorney has not upheld his end of the contract to avoid having to pay him. He will be served officially early next week. The legal firm I am working with now I have worked with before, and they are sharks. Every time I had to contact them before they returned my call within hours, which is far better than months.
I failed to mention in the original post that this was a work related incident. My employer has the right to replace me and hold me in inactive leave until I am able to return to work. However, they found and exploited a loophole.
Not too long ago I received a check from the 401k administrator company. It was a funds disbursement check, and the reason for disbursement was on the stub. It said "Termination". I called the human resources department and asked what that was about. They told me that I had been terminated for failure to return from leave. When I informed the HR manager that I had not requested leave and that I was out on a work related injury he quickly replied "when you are better, you are welcome to apply for a new position," and he hung up on me. My outgoing attorney said that he would not pursue a wrongful termination suit as it would cost too much and the yield would make it unreasonable. My new attorney has agreed to take that on on contingency.\
I went from being a public servant (cop and volunteer firefighter/paramedic) to a truck driver when I moved from Colorado to Illinois. It had always been my plan to return to public service. However, based on the information that I have gleaned from my own research and the information the doctor has shared, I will probably not be able to return to it, or to driving a truck. That means that the insurance company is going to be on the hook for job training. Now I have to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I am not old, only in my mid 30's, but I don't know how many tricks this dog can learn. I wonder if I could make a living in the MRR field... That would be nice.

Anyways, now that I have rambled, let me say thank you all again for your support, well wishes, and advice. It really means alot to me. Being able to vent gave me some relief, but your responses gave me more.

Matt
Don't follow me, I'm lost too.
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